The current problem that I have to overcome is my daughter's status. I was just recalling when my parents were looking out for a match for me, the 'obstacles' that had been paramount.
The first question was whether I was a graduate. To my sorrow, I had not seen the need to graduate. My parents always reminded me that God made a woman to bear children and rear them and to care for a family. Housework was important, not being a graduate. But the 'boys' demanded that first.
The next question was whether I would 'work' after marriage. My mother would vehemently say 'of course not!' I was touted as a docile housewife material. Not too many 'boys'
wanted an ordinary wife.
The next statement would never be worded because it was for all to see that I was not a fashion diva. My father believed that a girl should be simple and that's it. No make up, no stylish haircut, no latest jeans and heels. So all this played against me when ever a boy agreed to visit with marriage on his mind.
And then, a boy agreed to marry me. He was happy that his wife would not be more educated than him or earn more than him.
But in this age, education and salary is not the issue that prospective couples compare. It is their internet ratings. How many tweets, who are the followers, and what topics are being brandished on the individual's twitter account, is the bone of contention. Who is saying what as a response, seems to cause a lot of heart burn. The male ego is offended if the girl has a much larger following than him. He quarrels and argues and causes bad blood in the relationship. What? The girl's tweets are 59.1K with 11.1K followers? And the boy has only 11.7K tweets and only 376 followers? A very huge ego battle ensuses and escalates and destroys affection and respect and trust.
The girl is expected to allow the boy to access her passwords and then he plays havoc on her twitter account by deleting - questioning the integrity of any 'follower' - and interfering by posting his remarks etc. The intention of certain guys who he feels are not honourable enough, are deleted ASAP. The boy behaves like a censorboard official. His whim and fancy are not to be questioned. If a certain twitter follower on the girl's account makes him see red, then that person has to be axed from her account. A taliban mentality. No explanations, only tempers rise. The tragedy of Shashi Tharoor and Sunanda Pushkar is a glaring example of twitter hacking leading to death.
No problem in that if the girl is ready to be a doormat. But my daughter is not of that category and so the problem grows. She checks the boy's account on twitter and questions him about the sleazy girls that follow him. 'What can I do about that?' "I am on twitter, only to enhance my professional contacts." What a sop. Come on boys, don't let a mere twitter account hurt your male ego. Grant the girl the expertise she has used to achieve a large twitter following. And please don't be so petty as to blame it all on 'disrespectable conversations'.
If you are man enough to court and woo a girl of that caliber, then grant her the liberty of being professional and respect her abilities. Cherish her integrity and nurture faith and trust. It is so unfair to try to crush someone else's twitter account when that is exactly what had brought you both together. And it is your loss if you mistrust her at every step,,,,,,,trust has to be paramount in true love and future happiness. In any relationship and with any girl, there are times when suspicion is aroused but one must see the truth and not be swayed by rumour. To trust anyone, you must give them a chance to be trustworthy. And it begins with not letting twitter get the better of you.
But because I have been witness to the break up because of an ego tussle about twitter, I am very bitter about twitter.
The first question was whether I was a graduate. To my sorrow, I had not seen the need to graduate. My parents always reminded me that God made a woman to bear children and rear them and to care for a family. Housework was important, not being a graduate. But the 'boys' demanded that first.
The next question was whether I would 'work' after marriage. My mother would vehemently say 'of course not!' I was touted as a docile housewife material. Not too many 'boys'
wanted an ordinary wife.
The next statement would never be worded because it was for all to see that I was not a fashion diva. My father believed that a girl should be simple and that's it. No make up, no stylish haircut, no latest jeans and heels. So all this played against me when ever a boy agreed to visit with marriage on his mind.
And then, a boy agreed to marry me. He was happy that his wife would not be more educated than him or earn more than him.
But in this age, education and salary is not the issue that prospective couples compare. It is their internet ratings. How many tweets, who are the followers, and what topics are being brandished on the individual's twitter account, is the bone of contention. Who is saying what as a response, seems to cause a lot of heart burn. The male ego is offended if the girl has a much larger following than him. He quarrels and argues and causes bad blood in the relationship. What? The girl's tweets are 59.1K with 11.1K followers? And the boy has only 11.7K tweets and only 376 followers? A very huge ego battle ensuses and escalates and destroys affection and respect and trust.
The girl is expected to allow the boy to access her passwords and then he plays havoc on her twitter account by deleting - questioning the integrity of any 'follower' - and interfering by posting his remarks etc. The intention of certain guys who he feels are not honourable enough, are deleted ASAP. The boy behaves like a censorboard official. His whim and fancy are not to be questioned. If a certain twitter follower on the girl's account makes him see red, then that person has to be axed from her account. A taliban mentality. No explanations, only tempers rise. The tragedy of Shashi Tharoor and Sunanda Pushkar is a glaring example of twitter hacking leading to death.
No problem in that if the girl is ready to be a doormat. But my daughter is not of that category and so the problem grows. She checks the boy's account on twitter and questions him about the sleazy girls that follow him. 'What can I do about that?' "I am on twitter, only to enhance my professional contacts." What a sop. Come on boys, don't let a mere twitter account hurt your male ego. Grant the girl the expertise she has used to achieve a large twitter following. And please don't be so petty as to blame it all on 'disrespectable conversations'.
If you are man enough to court and woo a girl of that caliber, then grant her the liberty of being professional and respect her abilities. Cherish her integrity and nurture faith and trust. It is so unfair to try to crush someone else's twitter account when that is exactly what had brought you both together. And it is your loss if you mistrust her at every step,,,,,,,trust has to be paramount in true love and future happiness. In any relationship and with any girl, there are times when suspicion is aroused but one must see the truth and not be swayed by rumour. To trust anyone, you must give them a chance to be trustworthy. And it begins with not letting twitter get the better of you.
But because I have been witness to the break up because of an ego tussle about twitter, I am very bitter about twitter.
