56-THE INDIAN BOVINE.

The female of any species is not the more beautiful gender in nature.  The peacock sports the colourful feathers while the peahen is nondescript.  This holds true for all animals and birds and insects, even the marine life.  Human females resort to make-up and colourful clothes, to attract the male, which is a contradiction in nature.  But now, another female species has won a special status, in spite of being the female counterpart, a luxury reserved for the males.

The Indian cow!  This female has no need for any make up etc.,  as religious Hindus touch it reverently as they pass by, and then they kiss their fingers.  Near Hindu temples, the cow enjoys a special status of reverence.   It is the duty of Hindu worshippers to pay the cow's caretaker and feed a little grass to the cow.  Rich devotees pay more and treat the cow to special 'ladoos' that the care taker prepares, with wheat husk, flour, jaggery, and water.  It is a profitable business for these illiterate women,  because as the care taker of the 'holy' cow,  their status is automatically elevated substantially,  and they to are offered new sarees and cash tributes.  They also profit by collecting the cow's urine, which is bought by the devotees, for its medicinal value.  Quite a few people will vouch for the medicinal qualities of the urine having healed some or the other persistant rash that they though was uncurable.

All Gujarati and Jain shopkeepers have started to display a money box in the shape of a white cow, on their counters.  My sincere advice to all shopkeepers of other faiths is to do the same.  It is an effective ploy to confuse fanatics, who attack randomly, accusing the victims of cow slaughter or beef consumption.

Baba Ramdev has floated a floor cleaner made from cow's urine,  and it is advertised as a natural disinfectant, and bio-friendly too.  The advertisement also counsels the public to buy this product and save the cow from the slaughter house. 

My personal experiences with the cow are both bitter and sweet.  I am very cautious whenever I walk in the vicinity of the temples near my house.  It is not a pleasant experience to have one's sandle right in the middle of fresh cowdung.  If I have to cross the road at an unmanned signal and a cow comes sauntering along,  then it is very safe to cross the road as all traffic comes to a standstill for 'her majesty' the cow to walk on safely.  If ever I desperately jay walk, then angry vehicle drivers honk incessantly and almost run me down.  But the cow can walk along any road with immunity.

In our Zorastrian religion, the cow's consecrated urine is used for religious cleansing of the human before a navjote, a wedding and even at the funeral.  Legend says that our prophet, Zarathustra, was saved from being trampled by a herd of cattle as a new born baby, when evil men had placed him in their path.  So, technically and religiously, Zorastrians too must refrain from eating beef, as a reminder of past favours of the cow.

As a teacher of eight year olds, it is not so easy to let the students realize that the bullock cart is manned by the males and that the 'cow' is not allowed to be made to do 'work'.  That makes it very important to educate the students about the different parts of a cow and bull.  So I  start with the dewlap, the brisket, the nostril and the muzzle, the horns,  the hoof, the rump and the switch.  Then the udder and the teats.  Then we discuss how the cow and bull ruminate and chew cud, and how their stomach has four special compartments.  We discuss the colours of its skin, and tongue.  I also inform them about the cholestrol that people eat as a delicacy and which is sold in handcarts on the road, and is known as 'baall-lee'.  Then the awkward explanation about how a cow produces milk for its new born, but humans steal the milk.

Very often, one sees old and skinny cows, roaming on the road, their rump covered with dried dung, flies hovering all over their body, as they seem too weak to swing their tails and shoo them away.  I have even seen crows pecking away at the exposed wound on a cow, and the public would still touch its 'good' parts reverently and pass on.  I have seen cows sitting in the hot sunlight outside a temple with their mouth lathering with thirst, and the caretaker only keen on asking devotees to pay for some grass and feed it.

Recent news reports have highlighted the fanatic behaviour of certain Hindus who have suddenly earned the post of 'gaurakshaks' or 'cow-protectors'.  They take it into their hands to lynch any person who they suspect is out to slaughter a cow, or anyone who they assume is consuming beef.   I prefer vegetarianism,  but I have numerous friends who enjoy beef.  I prefer acrylic bags, shoes and belts, but I admire the well made leather products that I see in the market.  But then, I am not a Hindu and so I suppose it is easy for me to be passive about the situation.

The most recent change that I have observed is that if a temple cow and its caretaker are approaching me from the opposite direction, on the footpath,  I am the one who has to cower into a safe distance, because the cow care taker now walks with her head held high and an almost defiant demeanour, as opposed to the previous diffidence that she used to sport.  I suppose that in Uttar Pradesh, the cows now enjoy a very secure life, almost like the z-security given to important government officials.  Oh! What luxury it must be for Nandini, the most favoured among the five hundred cows in Yogi Adityanath's Gaushala.  It was breaking news, when the general public was informed how the newly appointed chief minister of Uttar Pradesh, wakes up at 3a.m. and feeds his cows, before eating his own breakfast. Residing in a small flat, in a multistorey building, even owning a pet dog is not easy.    Hmmmm,  wow, so good to be a cow, now.

 

55 - A MESSAGE TO THE MODI

It would be a grass roots eye opener for the 'great' Modi to please visit CST, disguised as a woman.  And then he must visit the ladies' toilet.  For Rs.5/ I think that the caretaker there earns more than even the platform ticket sales.

Women of all classes and creeds and ages,  are desperately crowding into the dirty and derelict toilets at the CST.  The narrow entrance is blocked by the woman in charge, who demands her money before you can enter furthur.  The stench drowns your senses and the flooded and cracked floor tiles are a danger that one has to overcome and walk inwards.  Three doors, so soiled that I flinched to even touch one when I managed to wait until it was my 'turn' to use the toilet.

The pushing and squeezing between the sweaty female bodies is not a pleasant experience at all.  The toilet doors are cracked and two have no inner latches.  One toilet was flooded.  The one I entered, was in such a sorry state of disrepair and uncleanness, that if my need was not so urgent, then I would never have entered such a disgustingly unhygienic 'toilet'.

That is one of the reasons that I enjoy visiting any mall.  At least the toilet facilities are decent and clean.  There is an attendant and there are washbasins and toilet paper and  clean clean toilets.

Recently I had to go to Dadar to travel by the Shivneri, and the ladies' toilet at the bus stand is usable for rupees five.  It is a very narrow squeeze and the window slats are in disrepair, but the steel toilet was clean.  And then I visited the toilet at the Pune depot of the same bus service, and that was so so unusable.  Charges were rupees five, but the entire inner area was flooded in 2 inches of unclean water .......and only one of the three enclosures was usable.  There was no door latch and it was dirty and smelly. Yuck, yuck and yuck.

If you are shopping at Crawford Market, after walking through the numerous crowded lanes, you feel thirsty, and visit any restaurant to quench your thirst, but you will not be able to use a toilet, because they say that they have none.  Only one restaurant has  a loo for customers but access is restricted for one, only after you have placed your order, because people tend to enter, use the loo and leave.  The  main door of the hotel has the message,  washroom is only for authentic customers.

So many shops all over Mumbai, with men and women working there, so many traffic constables working on the roads, so many taxi drivers all over the place,  where do they manage to relieve themselves?

There is a very posh restaurant near my house, where rich people arrive in expensive cars to eat there.  The drivers wait in the car and very often relieve themselves behind the parked car.  It is so embarrassing to be walking along the narrow road and then realize that some fellow is urinating close to the path that I am using.

Mr. Modi,  your endeavour to encourage the Indian public to use toilets and not defecate and urinate in open spaces is very correct but there need to be more free public toilets all over India.  There are whole families living on footpaths and on the beach in Mumbai and they defecate on plastic bags and on paper and put it into the drains near their haunts, by lifting the cover.  So if anyone is walking along a footpath where the draincover has a rope tied around the handle lid, then that is the easy access lid for the toilet outlet, for the footpath dwellers.

I would like to take the prime minister for a walk along the road in 'posh' south Mumbai, even along the route to the chief minister's bungalow,  because travelling in an air conditioned car does not let you see the ground reality.

54 - 'GARDI' A REMEDY

Travelling by foot has become a norm, since the doctor has advised me to 'walk' as much as posiible daily.  But it is so uninspiring to walk in a park, or along marine drive, just for the sake of walking.  I prefer to do anything only if I have a goal in mind.

So if I have to visit Crawford Market for 'fairy lights' or for buying a matching duppatta from Mangaldas Market just next to it, then of course one has to walk from Metro theatre, unless you hire a taxi or own your own vehicle, because Metro theatre is the stop closest to the market, along the bus route from my house.  So there is a reason to walk upto the market area. On the way, I always look out for familiar sights that are quite inspiring in their ingenuity.

Just opposite St Xavier's school, across the road, there is a handcart with carrots, beetroots, oranges, mint leaves, all arranged very decoratively, by the juice vendor. Everytime I pass that way, I realize that he changes the decorations made by the fruits and vegetables that he juices.   And then further, wafts of hot popcorn entice the senses.  As I walk along the road towards Crawford Market, window shopping is a treat, and pavement shopping along the stalls that sandwich pedestrians all along the path.  Underwear, handkerchiefs, hair clips and earrings and necklaces,  purses and ladies' bags, toys and shoes, trinkets and goggles, fridge magnets and story books, salwar kameez and camisoles.   And when I reach the corner which turns into the 'A to Z'   shop lane, the stalls selling artificial flowers and plastic wares appear.  And in the melee of shoppers, the walking hawkers selling clips, bubble guns, large shopping bags, table mats,  the mad rush of humans of all shapes and sizes, squeezing between each other to move on, to bargain with the roadside hawkers selling cutlery, stationery, carpets, slippers, and even second hand clothes.

The crowded road is also a traffic zone and the shouting of hawkers selling their wares, is compounded by the honking of cars, taxis, two wheelers and handcart pushers.  If ever you are feeling lonely or forlorn, then a walk through these lanes will surely make you feel better.