5 - FACEBOOK

I was forced into learning to use a computer by my school.  All teachers, old ones, very old ones, young ones and the reluctant ones, had to complete a painfully obscure computer training at a certain training centre at Siddhi Vinayak, Dadar.  I recall that the journey to and fro was the most strenuous part of the month long venture. 

Before this, we already had a computer at home,  but my children banned me from using it.  The main reason was that I managed to hang it up every time,  or I would ask so many silly questions in order to complete my assignments that they would lose their patience with me.   And then, the cleaning of the dust off of the endless wires, which almost always left the computer unusable because something would be disconnected and then everything would be blank.  But that seems ages ago.  Now I am quite savvy in completing worksheets and test papers for the school on a computer.   I also use e-mail and I can brouse the internet and download videos with a little help.   Writing a blog is the latest challenge that I have taken.

The beginning was a disaster,  with different blogs that somehow got lost and could not be traced and then my daughter came to my rescue.   But now she says that Google will soon ban my blogs.  'Because mummy' she says, 
'you are not using correct punctuation.  And you are randomly leaving spaces between words.'  etc etc............When I retorted that Google would not bother with so many details,  she said that 'the bot' would detect all these mistakes.   'A bot',   really,   am I expected to believe that?   

Referring to facebook,  I am so so addicted to it.   I can converse with anyone anywhere on earth-wow!     The down side is that it has brought tears to my eyes and made me very vulnerable too.   THE MESSAGES are the most emotional quotient of anything that I have ever encountered.  My life now revolves around the message box of my facebook site.  I am able to get in touch with persons that I would never have spoken to, if not for fb.  So,  I type what I want to discuss and then the tick appears, as if by magic.  But when a tick fails to appear,  it is a mood-disaster.   I am unable to function normally until the tick appears and I know that my message has been read.    I read the return messages, and make decisions for so many important events.  The boy my daughter wants to marry contacted me via fb.  Now it is a rollercoaster of emotions,  will they or won't they marry.   The denials, the frustrations, the shared confessions and the impromptu jokes with little faces to send and receive called 'emotions'.

What a wonder is this technology.  Amazing!

4 - TEACHER'S DAY.

Teacher's day is unique to India,    thanks to Dr.Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan.  My school students perform dances to entertain the teachers.  Then we are treated to lunch at a hotel.

The painful part of teacher's day celebrations is that I am expected to accept  'gifts' from students.   Usually these are flowers (natural and plastic ones),  red pens, chocolates (mostly dubious ones, or the Celebrations box meant for kids), and of course. the all time favourite gift-the tea mug.    And then, the cards,  most of which are the Archie's brand and so each teacher gets 7 to 8 similar ones.     Some parents let their kids design cards and each teacher gets a few 'masterpieces'.   It is a rare occasion when a parent sends an interesting and worthwhile 'gift' for the teacher on Teacher's day.

The lack of imagination and innovation by big brands like Cadbury's and Archie's,  is to blame for the sad choices that the student's parents make for gifts.  Pens, purses and watches (mostly cheap raste-ka-maal) are the main objects that parents assume they can gift teachers.  The male teachers receive neckties and cheap deos.   And some teachers receive placards and frames,  with inspirational words eulogizing teachers.   Parents expect teachers to display such frames and posters in their home and treasure them?  Do not forget that teachers are  fond of ordinary utility items,  same as you. 

On 5th September,  the happiest persons are the plastic flower vendor  and the natural flower vendor on the footpath outside schools.  Why is there no practical merchandise available for Teacher's day?  Dear parents,  I am writing this blog so that it can be an eye opener for you.  How will you all realize that most of the 'gifts' are given away to the peons since they are not of a good quality,   unless someone tells you this?   If you buy anything to gift your child's teachers,  do introspect and empathize as to whether you would like to be at the receiving end.     Once I even received a beautifully packed wallet that had been used and the zip was spoilt. 

I have a simple remedy for the follies of parents.  It is very easy for any teacher to involuntarily dislike the student who gives a cheap gift.  My policy is to try not to remember which child gives what.   And I never accept flowers.  Simply because I think it is futile to accept flowers and then discard them into a bin after 2 to 3 hours.  It would be better that parents would not waste money buying them.

Maybe it would be more practical and useful for students to contribute towards one common gift for a teacher.    Then the gift would be worthwhile and memorable.

There is nothing else to write about this day,  simply because there is nothing more that happens to ordinary teachers.

 

3 - A FLAT TO LIVE IN.

Everywhere I look,  I can see new constructions coming up.    20 and 30 storey skyscrapers are sprouting up,    like mushrooms in the rotting bark of a tree.         I have a very well placed cousin whom I requested to guide me to buy a flat for my daughter who wants to marry.      He just directed me to magic bricks .com.          And now my email inbox is flooded with updates from 'magicbricks'    with offers of a home in Karjat,    Kalyan and Virar.         South   Mumbai or Central Mumbai is nowhere in the offers,   because my budget is less than 20 lakhs.      

If only I had a crore or even a little more like one and a 1/2 crore,   I could get my child married and settled.   Maybe this year Lalbaugcha Raja can fulfil a few of my wishes too.   'The boy' even tried his luck and his wits to participate in Kaun Banega Crorepati.    He got into the first interview round,  but then he was not called back,  because 'why do you deserve to be in the show?' must not have been the criteria that the organisers wanted. 

But WHO can afford these expensive homes????   Obviously rich business men,  mostly  from Gujarat.     Shiv sena honcho,   Mr Thackeray,    can you help Maharashtrians to buy a decent home,  please.    Actors can afford luxurious bungalows,  Shahrukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, Kareena Kapoor,  Deepika Padukone etc.     No wonder that all and sundry aspire to become 'Bollywood actors'.  I think it is a very good deal if Alia Bhatt can earn crores, just by kissing on screen.    What luck to be able to be in a position to earn such easy money,   while so many Bollywood hopefuls get used and abused and suffer ignominy,  in their pursuit of  fame and bounty.    

When Reliance boss,  Mr.  Mukesh Ambani built his  Antilia,  Mumbai earned another world landmark.  The next one will be "India Towers" at Wadala.   At 125 storeys high,  it will be the second tallest man-made structure in the world.    WOW.     But where and how will I get a residence for my child?

I spent my childhood in Pune.   We lived in a bungalow,  with fruit and flower trees and plants,  and a pond.   I had the privilege to present colourful dahlias, lilies, ferns and pink scented roses,  to my teachers, daily. We always had fresh-from-the-trees,  lemons, guavas, chickoos, figs, bananas, pomegranates, mangoes, drumsticks, lemongrass and kadipatta.   We had 2 pet dogs,  and a dozen hens.   Our car was parked in one part of the bungalow.   We, the kids,  my brothers, my cousins, my neighbours,  all of us played hide-and-seek, catching cook,  7 tiles, four corners, tippery, badminton, and of course cycling.   It was heavenly.   And here in Mumbai,  I  live in a one bhk flat.

I can empathise with Sunny Leone,   in that she can easily buy a penthouse in Mumbai.  She does what she does and earns her way into a posh lifestyle.   So,  I was wondering,  who are the other people who live in these posh flats.

I have numerous friends who have a Mhada flat.   They have rented out the flat and with that money,  they have invested in a south Mumbai flat,  and they pay rent and have taken a housing loan for the flat that they reside in presently.      So,  this means that many Mumbaikars, own at least three residences...what a rigmarole.    I presume that the government's policy of  waiving off tax on a housing loan, is the root cause of this circle within a circle syndrome,  or more suitably,  the house within a house syndrome. 

Dear Lalbagcha Raja,   please help me to gift a home to my daughter,  as a wedding present.

     

1- WHAT MADE ME SMILE 2 - HOLIDAYS ARE FOR....

Holidays for me mean 'extra work'.
House work like ironing, changing bedsheets, cleaning the AC filter,  and worst of all,  catching up with bank work.     Today I got a shock when my pass book was updated and there was a fine of Rs.102 that the bank had debited.    A little research and the fine was credited,   as it was 'a mistake'.

.........discovering the mistake and reversing it,  took almost 80 minutes,  leaving me drained and tired.   O  prime minister Mr. Modi,  how will banking benefit the rural population,  when it is not serving the educated urban population  properly??????

Holidays lead to 'jetlag'.    Completing one task makes me want to just go into a cocoon and chill silently to recuperate.  

But having a family to answer to means that I am expected to fulfill extra requests during holidays.   Shopping for one member's outfits,  shopping for another member's mobile..........paying the MTNL dues,   dropping the BEST cheque,   giving out the society's outgoing.........an endless stream of  errands that makes me want to belong to the stone age era,   this urban lifestyle leaves no energy for music practice or reading a book undisturbed.

The worst outcome of 'holidays' is when I go back to my workplace,   colleagues ask trite questions like- Did you enjoy your holidays?........and I am expected to respond positively.........

I always look forward to holidays  but am quite relieved when they are done.      .

1 -WHAT MADE ME SMILE.

When the heat is unbearable and it rains,  all heave a sigh of relief,  but it is short lived.  
How can I be happy when some thoughtless driver splashes the muddy puddle all over me, on my way to school?

But that is soon forgotten once I reach my school.    I am not a student.  

At school, today,  the time flew,  with interschool competition practices and reports to be completed.    

When it was time to go home,  as a rule,  I am usually tense..........waiting at the bus stop is a lesson in patience and perseverance...........

My bus is elusive and I am forced to wait at the stop,  today being no exception.      As I wait,  a middle aged man joins the previous commuters waiting at the stop.........but soon I am bugged with his behaviour.  He spits seven times,     until  I cannot just ignore his random spitting,  and I tell him to please stop the public nuisance he is creating by the dispersal of his sputum.  He retorts   'tumhare upaar giraa kya?'      I got upset and scolded him for the dirty habit.  

........and then he boarded the next  bus,  while I had to keep on waiting.

A car tried to park right across the bus stop,    my daily grouse,    and I had to request,  grumble, cajole,  threaten,   until he drove off.      After almost 40 minutes of my life had passed by at the bus stop,  my bus arrived.

 Today I had to stop on my way home,  to  buy vegetables and fruits.   Over laden with my shopping bags,   begging taxiwallahs to let me in...........I was at the end of my endurance.    'kahaa jaana hai?'     and then a shake of the head.....'gas bharraana hai'.......'shift ka time ho gaya'..........I was sooooo   angry  and sooooo  tired.      And then I saw this lady walk by me and she smiled.......I could not place her.........a student's parent???.........no,  she kept smiling and made sure that I too was looking at her and then I had to smile.........thanks to Biba.  She was not Sushmita Sen,  nor was I Aishwarya Bachchan,   because then the scenario would have not  been cordial.  But......................since that was not the case,  the outcome was different.   Her salwar outfit and mine,  were the same.......a bond was created between us........a fleeting moment that made us smile at each other...........without having met before......without any formal introduction...........I felt happy,   an unspoken bond between a stranger and me made me feel that all the problems were by-the-way........and so today my day ended with a smile from a stranger,    a smile that made me smile back and let me  forget the day's  trials.