72 - ENGLISH VINGLISH, MARATHI SWARATHI, HINDI FINDI......

English is perhaps the only language that has an upper case and a lower case.  After a fullstop, a capital letter is used, and proper nouns too have a capital letter.  In Marathi, Hindi, Urdu, Gujarati, etc there is no need to use capitals. Also the pronunciation of every word is not too predictable.  Very often English words are pronounced incorrectly,  which is not the case with most other languages as the written word can be read as is.

 In India, most of the citizens are not familiar with English speaking and so they tend to translate from marathi or hindi, and then format the english sentence, which leads to hilarious sentences.  So if  the Hindi phrase of  'Aap kaiseh hai?'  gets translated as 'You how are?'

If you do not read good novels and classical stories,  then you are at risk to format incorrect sentences too.  Spellings also go for a toss.  I have been very puzzled after perusing certain items on a menu.  So there is  a "paper sandwich"  correct spelling should have been "pepper",  and the "chess sandwich" meaning a "cheese sandwich".    And these two misspellings were painted on the menu board of the Mumbai university at Kalina.

Everyday I pass the Aditya Birla school lane at Tardeo and feel chagrined to read the signboard that they have displayed at the entrance of the lane leading towards their school.  It reads, 'School children alighting and get off.'  In Pune there is a bench on MG Road which has this painted on it 'siniour citizen bench'.  In a Virar local,. the neon light message reads 'Emergency number of ladies passengers.............'.  One Union Bank branch has this message displayed, 'Account will be freeze in case of non submission of KYC'.

And I fail to understand why the BMC has painted an English phrase in the Hindi script on its garbage trucks,  'clean up'?  Also, the hindi and marathi words for 'please',   'sorry'  and 'thank you' are almost redundant, and everyone uses the english options, even when conversing in a colloquial format or in any local language like gujarati, marathi and hindi.

Very often, the speaker makes a mistake, and the listeners are unaware of its incorrectness, so 'all is well'.

71 - WHY ENDURE ? JAPAN'S IDEA IS A SOLUTION.

Every year Mumbai gets flooded and people suffer.  Then they forget all about the situation when the season changes.  It leads to leptospirosis and death.  After the water recedes, mosquitoes breed and it leads to chikungunya, malaria, dengue, and typhoid.  Besides the ground floor houses that get flooded, suffer sewer water enundiating their homes, furniture and electrical appliances like fridges, TVs, ACs , washing machines, getting defunct.  It is beyond my thinking, as to how they manage to answer nature's call for so many days, when the toilets are flooded too.  I have witnessed a ground floor home getting flooded.  The bedroom had soaked mattresses and the toilet had excreta floating up and into the other rooms.  Sic.  So it should be the priority of the concerned municipality to take proper precautions to prevent the flooding.  But they blame it on the high tide and the insufficient and outdated drainage systems.  Okay, so if everyone is aware of the problems, then why is there no effective solution? 

But obviously the high and mighty in this land are not affected directly and so they don't seem to care about the common man's plight.

National Geographic has done a review of the underground 'temple-like' storage tanks of Japan, that help to keep the city of Tokyo, free of flooding.  In 2001, Tokyo suffered severe flooding due to heavy rain.  And so they built a system of giant underground tunnels, six and a half kilometers long.  Each tunnel is ten meters in diameter and it allows the rain water to collect into this space and then be drained methodically into the Edo river. 

Our prime minister, Mr.Modi, should borrow this innovative idea from Japan, instead of the Bullet train technology.

70 - SOLD !

A baby is very precious only if it is not an unwanted child.  There are so many cases where the girl becomes pregnant against her will, through rape, or for want of a good contraceptive.  So even if she is married, the baby may not be welcome or then if it a second or third girl child, then the family may want to give it away or even finish it off.  Sometimes the baby can be physically or mentally retarded, and the mother will want to get rid of it, she may not be in a position to care for the special child and so will give it away or leave it at the doorstep of a christian missionary home,

My personal experience is that Christian nuns, especially the Mother Teresa charities, care for babies in any condition.  There are centers that allow adoption through legal procedures.  But my personal opinion is that if that process is too restricted and costly, then let a family that is sincere 'buy' a baby.  The money is given to the mother, she does it of her own free will.  At least the baby has a chance to grow in a good nurturing environment.  If the mother is too poor to care for her baby, the baby wil become sick, or be made to beg. 

Some prominent public figures, like Karan Johar, Shahrukh Khan and Tushaar Kapoor, got a baby through surrogacy, some of them  without even getting married.  So, if you are rich, do the rules change?  A middle class couple would not be able to afford surrogacy, so let them adopt, or even if that is too expensive, let them buy a baby, is my personal opinion.

Hindu folklore and Bollywood films have so many stories of babies that were abandoned and then adopted by other foster parents through fate.

Anyone who can be the best parents for a baby should be allowed to parent an unwanted child.

69 - MUMBAI CABBIE

I became aware of how LPG gets filled into a vehicle, only recently.  After sitting in a cab, if the cabbie requests that he has to get gas as the red light is blinking, indicating that the gas is depleted, then one does not have much of a choice. 

If  the passenger is a long distance traveller, then a conversation is mandatory.  Usually it begins with a rueful remark about the potholes that the cab traverses through.   Marol roads are bad,  Parla roads are full of potholes, but Kurla is the worst.    By the time we reached Santa Cruz east, my body was shaken and stirred.  How is it that the entire airport access roads are full of potholes but within the airport premises, the roads are perfect?

This cabbie had just left a passenger at the airport and having received a generous fare and tip, he was in a good mood.  The passenger had wanted to do the rounds of Shahrukh Khan and Salman's homes and then return to the airport, in a round trip.  The cabbie confided that Shahrukh Khan's Mannat bungalow is a very popular spot with selfie seekers and he often takes other state visitors to the spot, but it is such a  anticlimax moment for the visitors, according to the cabbie, because there is only a dirty, barren   wall to witness, with the word Mannat displayed, with which the visitors console themselves by taking a selfie.  Surely, both the famous Bollywood Khans can make visits of fans more worthwhile by offering some refreshments, autographed pics, or CDs etc to these ardent visitors from far off states.  The cabbie said that many of these fans take a detour to Mumbai, and fly in, just to visit star homes.  I wonder what the situation in Hollywood and Down under is, for visitors to star homes?

During the duration of my journey in the cab, the conversation veered towards the sweetmeat shop that I directed him towards, Gaurishankar at Parel.  I could not recall the name, but the cabbie helped me out, as it is a very popular outlet.  And then he went on to tell me that he had diabetes and so could not enjoy sweetmeats anyway.  Originally from Jharkhand, this cabbie went on to philosophise  that life in Mumbai city was very hectic and the main reason for his malady.  He listed all the details of his medical tests and all the various natural remedies available.   I endured a short lecture on the reasons for the high percentage of diseases in modern times.

I refute his claim, there are so many other reasons for any malady.  Especially emotional turmoil and anxiety, caused by 'others', besides environmental side-effects.                                         

68 - ANUSHKA SHARMA and VIRAT KOHLI, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !

What a pleasant surprise, when I heard in the news that Anushka Sharma scolded a rich, spoilt, bad mannered, uncouth guy, who was littering.  This gives me a reason to be her fan.  As I have mentioned in my previous blogs, the rich don't care if they throw garbage onto the road, and also let their pet dogs poop anywhere in public places, as long as no one pulls them up.

It is so typical for the offender in this case, to troll Anushka and try to save face,  after being publicly shamed online.  This is the only way that such imbeciles can be brought to book and behave well.  Like they say in Hindi, 'ulta chor kotwaal koh daateh'.

Not so long ago, I had suggested to the BMC, that certain areas in this so crowded city are unsafe and ruined by miscreants of different classes, rich and poor.  The rich are too arrogant and get away with so many broken rules, the poor are too indifferent to care.  Many of the bridges over local train rails, have no shops or houses, only slums and chain snatchers, who get away with it with immunity.  Garbage, rubble etc is discarded by anyone and no one cares.  The underground subways in so many areas that have no shops, are dangerous and dirty.  The underground subway at Metro theatre, the one near Haji Ali and so many others.  If a large screen would throw the images of the subway to the public above, such areas would be used by everyone to commute, and not become a haven for loafers, flashers, beggars, urinaters.

But the Mumbai Corporation does not bother to do ground work on the feasibility and solutions to problems that arise in such schemes.

67 - A PAGE FROM AUSTRALIA'S BOOK.........

How do the Australians and the British and the Americans, manage their abandoned cars?

Why does the police in Mumbai and Pune have problems  managing abandoned vehicles?

In Australia, after six months of a vehicle being labelled with a sticker, as 'abandoned',  it is towed away to a scrap yard by the authorities and dismantled.

I fail to understand as to why the owner cannot be contacted through the license plate and asked to take it to a junk yard within a month. They have fun with old discarded vehicles, like junkyard battles, where teams are invited to innovate a vehicle from the old stuff and then challenge others for entertainment.

If our RTO and Traffic police only want to play the blame game, nothing good or progressive will ever happen to solve the problem of the abandoned vehicles.

So what is the use of a license plate? 

66 - IF I COULD, I WOULD . . .

There are a few things that I would like to achieve just by waving a magical wand.  Or even by using the help of the genie of Alladin's magic lamp.  Needless to say that I shall only mention the positive thoughts, because I do have negative wishes too, and would not hesitate to use the wand to get revenge too.

Here are a few things that I would change with a magic wand, in random order.

Walking along or travelling in Mumbai, I hate to see the air conditioners popping out of buildings, because they look ugly and they drip too.  So I would make them very tiny and yet effective, and not an eyesore anymore.

Footpaths with two wheelers on them is one of the biggest problems that pedestrians face in Mumbai.  I wish I could just wave my wand and make them disappear completely.

Visiting any public toilet is a real torture, as they are so unclean, or without basic water or a wash basin, and even the door does not latch or is broken.  I would wave my magical wand and turn the toilets into the most beautiful ones that I had seen in Paris, with perfume and music and clean tiles and mirrors and lots of soap and toilet paper.

Anyone who walks anywhere in Mumbai has to deal with illegally parked cars, on footpaths or on the road.  But the worst part of this is that the drivers are sleeping inside, with their feet popping out of the driver's window.  These tired souls would get a gentle pedicure with my magical wand.  At least then I would be assured of not having to witness dirty soles and soiled, uncut toe nails.

In Pune, there are many footpath stalls, with vendors selling scarves and purses and tee shirts and junk jewelry and footwear and artificial flowers and toys and foodstuffs like corn bhel, kulfi,etc.  All this commerce has a collateral of refuse, which is discarded along the footpath.  At one place, on M G Road in the camp area, the hawkers have stuffed the paper and plastic rubbish into the space between the tree trunk and an enclosed wire meshing around it.  the meshing is very closely hugging the tree trunk and upto two  metres high. which is now filled with the wrappings.  Mr. Adar Poonawala's cleaners would need to put their vacuum suction pipes to good use, but they have not, so I would use my magical wand to clear the garbage and make the vendors disappear too.

At any traffic, sometimes pedestrians just run across at the wrong time, and sometimes the traffic, mainly two wheelers do not stop when they have to.  My wand would then do the needful to restrain both, unless the traffic police have switched off the signals, then all are entitled to do whatever they need to.

Travelling in the train, locally or out of Mumbai, when passengers are throwing trash out of the window, I would let a dustbin catch the thrash and follow the train with a drone.  And whatever garbage is along all the train tracks, I would turn into green grass and pretty flowers and tall trees with butterflies and birds and bees and monkeys.

When I see many vehicles parked outside any police station, blocking the walking space, my magical wand would help me to stack them over each other and clear the space in a jiffy.

It is very depressing to see minors begging or selling flowers or toys at traffic signals.  I would make a very palatial dormitory appear and house all of them into it, and of course take care of all their needs, bathing, clean clothes, education, food, a place to sleep.   The same for old and lonely beggars on the roads, would be housed in a special home, and be taken care of.

When vehicles zip past during the red signal, I should just point my wand to the license plate and the owner's name and address would be registered to the police directly.

Anyone who is sick, especially my family members, I would cure with a wave of my wand.  This I would need urgently too.

During the rain, I would have the latest invention of the Japanese, the drone umbrella, follow me.  I think I am allowed one or two selfish wishes too.

I would want a magical flying carpet, to take me to Australia and Spain and Florida and Canada.

And I would want a mini television set with all the possible channels, in my bag.  So while I have to wait at the bus stop for hours and hours, or sit in a cab in the traffic jam, I would watch the news etc.  No, I do not want a mobile, I want a TV, because I am a TV addict.